Uncommon bonds

They were deeply in love. Although she seemed like a strong Christian and he a nominal Muslim, faith and religion were far from their thoughts when their relationship began. They were blessed with two beautiful children, a boy and a girl.

Then, as the children grew, Susan started to take them to Sunday school and church. Iqbal, who never attended mosque or showed much interest in religion, suddenly became religious. He asked Susan to stop taking the children to church and demanded that she stop going as well. She refused. They fought over it. Two years later, the marriage ended in divorce.

Interfaith marriage

Interfaith marriage is on the rise in Canada.¹ In a pluralistic society this isn’t surprising. According to Dr. Ravi Shrivastava, a volunteer priest at the Mississauga Arya Samaj, three out of every four wedding ceremonies he performs are mixed marriages – mostly young Hindus marrying Caucasian Christians. Cases of Muslim men marrying Caucasian (Christian) women also seem to be on the rise.

The motivation for choosing a partner of another faith is vastly different in each case. While Hindu–Christian marriages frequently take place in urban centres among educated young people who are rebelling against an oppressive caste system, Muslim men often marry Christian women to convert them to Islam. There are strict injunctions in the Quran against marrying unbelievers, unless of course, the person first becomes a Muslim.

Some Christians also marry non-believers, willing to live with a difference in faith or hoping their spouse will eventually convert to Christianity. This is a difficult path to take and can often lead to marital discord, child-rearing diagreements, or divorce. The wisdom of 2 Corinthians 6:14 is still relevant two thousand years later: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”

Intercultural marriage

Marriages that bring together Christians of dissimilar cultures may also face challenges, but are treated very differently in Scripture.

Sons and daughters across Canada regularly come home with friends and potential mates from various cultural backgrounds. Even though they share the same faith, those friends may have a different colour, language, tradition, denomination, or dress than the family. With six out of ten Canadian immigrants having come from non-European nations², coupled with the fact that the birth rate in immigrant communities is higher than in local communities³, this is becoming a common scenario.

How should parents react? Some Christians say that intercultural marriage violates God’s principles in the Bible. They say that “races” should stick with their own.

No barriers in Christ

But does the Word of God really condemn such mixes? The Bible describes all human beings as coming from one origin: “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands” (Acts 17:26).

Especially in the family of believers, there are no distinctions based on race or culture. Consider Moses and Zipporah, Ruth and Boaz, Rahab and others. There are many biblical examples of people who stopped worshipping other gods and goddesses, married Israelites, and entered the family of God – some even became part of the lineage of Jesus Christ.

The issue is one of following the one and only true God. As Ruth the Moabite said, after refusing to leave her mother-in-law and return to her own country and kinsfolk, “Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die” (Ruth 1:16–17). Ruth’s decision created a bond of common faith that was lifelong.

God is working to redeem for himself a people who are one in Christ. Galatians 3:28, Colossians 3:11, and Romans 10:12–13 clearly indicate there are no distinctions in Christ Jesus. He came to break down such human barriers.

Our story

My wife Gwen and I come from two different cultures. She grew up on a dairy farm in a small rural Ontario town. I grew up in a major urban centre in India. Almost nothing about the way we grew up was the same – except our Christian faith. She attended Bethel Mennonite Church in Elora, Ontario and my home church was Bethel MB Church in Hyderabad, India. She is so fair that she burns like a lobster in the sun and me, well, let’s just say I have a good tan. Sometimes Gwen jokingly tells people that she couldn’t have her own tan, so she married it.

Even though we were both Christians when we got engaged and most people were happy for us, some friends questioned our marriage based on their own interpretation of 2 Corinthians 6:14. A few chose not to attend the wedding. But all the doomsday scenarios that well-meaning people predicted for our marriage and children were just that – scenarios.

After 23 years, our marriage continues to grow stronger each day. Even though juggling two cultures can be a challenge, we’ve chosen to view it as a blessing and we celebrate both our Canadian and Indian heritage. Our differences, if any, have to do with our rural and urban upbringings.

Our love for each other, God’s amazing grace, our shared desire to serve the church of Jesus Christ, and fellowship with family and friends continue to sustain our marriage.

By embracing our faith in unity, we can reach out to people of all nations in hope of saying altogether, “Your people are my people, and your God is my God.”

1. fims.uwo.ca
2. canadaimmigrants.com
3. canadianheritage.gc.ca

Vidya Narimalla is lead pastor at Kitchener (Ont.) MB Church.

where are you from? Annual number of immigrants admitted to Canada Source: Citizenship & Immigration Canada what are you saying? Some of the 21 different languages spoken in Canadian MB church services English: 92.4% Chinese: 9.7% French: 5.7% German: 3.3% American Sign Language (ASL): 0.9% Amharic: 0.9% Punjabi: 0.9% Spanish: 0.9% (Total is more than 100% because some churches have multiple languages spoken in a service.)