Not striving for perfection

When I was 16, I worked as a one-on-one caregiver for Derek. His hands were scarred and calloused from constantly biting them. Derek lived with autism and the habit soothed him. He was ever-so-affectionate and, though he didn’t speak, gave frequent kisses on the cheek.

I loved working with Derek. During my summer with him, I learned to laugh, to accept imperfection, to celebrate small victories. I learned to focus on someone other than myself. It was my first foray into the world of disabilities and it was a life-changing experience.

Since those teenage days of idealism, I’ve learned other things. I’ve learned that our world does not celebrate weakness. There are no Olympic medals for runners who cross the finish line last. There are no accolades for American Idol contestants who forget song lyrics or croon off-pitch.

And I’ve learned that even the church has difficulty accepting weakness and disability. In congregations with low tolerance for frailty and imperfection, it’s a challenge to embrace those who are less than perfect and to admit our own shortcomings. In congregations where excellence and growth are prized, it’s hard to welcome those whose minds may never develop beyond that of a five-year-old. In congregations where worship services are finely tuned and mastered, it’s a stretch to allow for background noise, movement, and distraction that those with developmental challenges may bring.

The church has a long way to go towards inclusion.

Traditionally, the church has viewed those with disabilities as “either divinely blessed or damned”* and segregated them from regular community activity or sent them to institutions. Bethesda Home in Vineland, Ont., founded in 1932, was the first Mennonite institution in North America to serve people with developmental delays and mental illness. In 1963, Mennonite Mental Health Services, under the umbrella of MCC, established a Mental Retardation Study Committee to determine how churches could better serve people with disabilities and accept them into church life.

Along with issues of practice and theology, there are ethical concerns. When the church welcomes people with disabilities, we must ensure that the relationship isn’t hierarchical. We must avoid pity and condescension. We must learn to accept the gifts of others. We must avoid ministering to those with disabilities just to make ourselves feel better. We must allow ourselves to see our own weakness and frailty mirrored in others; to grasp our own humanity and imperfection.

But it’s not so easy in a culture that values strength and excellence above all else. How often do we push away those with visible disabilities or shortcomings in an effort to deny our own imperfection?

Thank God for the message of Easter. Thank God for Jesus who experienced total human weakness and vulnerability, who lived life among common people far from perfect.

In a perfect world, there would be no need for compassion, confession, or change. In a perfect world, there’d be no need for Christ. Thank God for imperfection!

Resources:

• The Anabaptist Disabilities Network is a national membership of families, friends, and persons living with mental illness and/or other disabilities. The organization began in 2002 and provides encouragement and resources, including support groups, books, videos, and newsletters.
• The Joni and Friends International Disability Centre was founded in 1979 by Joni Eareckson Tada to communicate the gospel and equip Christ-honouring churches worldwide to evangelize and disciple people affected by disabilities.

* Nancy Eiesland, The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1994).