Bringing home baby

Many couples long to hear the cry of a baby in their homes – even at 3:00 a.m. – but face the pain of infertility. This is not a new struggle. Biblical characters such as Hannah and Elizabeth went through similarly heartwrenching trials.

What is new are some of the medical technologies available to parents who want to conceive a child – in vitro fertilization and surrogate parenting, for example.

For many Christians, these options are plagued by some sticky ethical, moral, and biblical questions. Are humans trying to play God in these situations?

For many, adoption is a less complicated answer. However, the quest to adopt a healthy Canadian newborn is often long and arduous. Of the 22,000 children free to be adopted in Canada, only 1,700 are actually adopted yearly. Red tape abounds, since each province has its own regulations. There are also fewer newborn babies available for adoption today than in the past. Sarah Pedersen of the Adoption Council of Canada says there are several reasons, such as decreased stigma towards teen mothers keeping their babies, generous social programs, and availability of abortions.

This leaves many parents waiting – and waiting – for their bundle of joy to arrive. (Government agencies in charge of public adoption say the waiting period can be up to eight years.) Melanie Mathews, a hopeful mother from FaithWorks, Winnipeg, laments that “with domestic adoption there was a possibility we would never have a child.” Thus, many turn to international adoption.

Each year, Canadians welcome some 1,800–2,200 children into their homes through intercountry adoption. With the help of private agencies, families choose a nation, fill out the necessary forms, and then travel overseas to pick up their children.

China, Haiti, Ethiopia, and Russia are currently favoured, although the most popular countries will fluctuate due to political, economic, and health conditions in the regions. One family chose Ethiopia because “we loved the spirit of the people. They are poor in need, but rich in spirit. They also have a very high regard for children . . . and the children are usually very healthy emotionally.”

Pros and cons

International adoption has its challenges. Couples must raise funds to cover expenses, which can run from $15,000 to $30,000 depending on the country. For many people this is a huge financial burden. They also must navigate through layers of provincial, federal, and international paperwork and law. The process can be hindered by cultural and language barriers. There is also the risk of hidden medical or emotional problems.

But the process is often faster than other types of adoption (agencies anticipate a wait of a year or less), more children are available abroad than in North America, and rules are somewhat looser. The Canada Adopts! website says that “prospective parents who don’t fit the standard profile or who would be normally shut out of the process are as eligible as the next person to become a parent.” This means that older or single parents have a greater chance of receiving a child.

Spiritual considerations

Christian parents who choose international adoption feel it’s a journey that parallels our adoption into God’s family (Ephesians 1:5). “The ‘God the Father’ image has grown to mean more and more to me,” says one adoptive dad from McIvor Avenue MB Church, Winnipeg. Gerald and Valerie Glor, who adopted two children from Haiti, agree. “We tell our kids they are special because they have been adopted twice. Once by God and once by us, their parents.”

Many adoptive parents, like Jennifer Peters of Winnipeg, have a strong sense of God’s hand in the whole process. “God placed this on our hearts to begin with,” she says. “He has given us a love for a child we have never even laid eyes on. We trust that God not only knows who our son is already, but that he hand-picked him for our family.”

Most view the support of the Christian community as crucial. “Our faith community was very important to us. Praying for us, encouraging us when the waiting was getting really tough, and sharing in our excitement when we finally had our child,” says Mathews, whose daughter arrived from Ethiopia.

Cultural considerations

One of the greatest challenges for families who adopt internationally is maintaining a connection to the child’s birth culture. Most welcome the opportunity to widen their worldview and learn about other countries.

John and Brenda Olfert (see following story) have no intentions of shying away from their daughter’s Asian heritage. “We have a desire to celebrate special Chinese events, such as Chinese New Year,” they say. “We have also talked about each of our children taking Mandarin lessons.”

Many find creative ways to incorporate a variety of cultures into their lives through food, décor, clothing, friendships, and travel. “Sometimes I feel I know more about Ethiopian culture than the culture I was born into,” Mathews says. “We now think of ourselves as Ethiopian, Mennonite, English, and Scottish.”

For more information go to canadaadopts.com; adoptioncanada.com; familyhelper.net; adoption.ca.