Young CO leaves life as a U.S. marine behind

For Christian Kjar, 20, a U.S. marine who went AWOL and took a bus to Canada in October 2005, the conscientious objector journey has been a long and lonely one. Still awaiting refugee status a year later, Kjar, the youngest speaker at the “War and the CO” history conference Oct. 20–21 (see News, MBH Nov. 24), shared his story simply, without notes. It was transcribed by Canadian Mennonite national correspondent Leona Dueck Penner.

“I was born and raised in Santa Barbara [Cal]. As a young kid I was always interested in developing a moral character. I also thought frequently of the military, which I thought stood for values and ideals.

“I registered for the marines in December 2004. On the wall of the registry office there was a motto: ‘Honor, courage, commitment, integrity.’ When I saw that, it felt like I was stepping into a church! Obviously, this was where young men and women go to serve the greater good.

“But from the onset [of boot camp in January 2005], I knew it was stupid and foolish and wrong. This was not the place to go if you value human dignity. Instead, it was an extremely violent atmosphere where they train you to change a human being into an object by using phrases like ‘communist bastards’ and singing about stamping on Iraqi children.

“It’s very difficult to go against the grain in that setting because it’s a group thing. So I kept trying to reassure myself that I could be a warrior. But I couldn’t let go of the fact that the intent was taking the life of a living, breathing, human being.

“When I was posted to Cherry Point [a Marine Corps base in North Carolina, in preparation for deployment to Iraq], it was eating me inside that I couldn’t express how I felt to others.

“Prayer and meditation were very important to me at that time. During a four-day grace period [before deployment], I had time to really reflect and come to grips with what my conscience was telling me. One day I opened the Bible at Deuteronomy 5, and read, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’

“After that I was honest with myself. I now knew what I didn’t want to be. Also, the just war thing didn’t work for me. . . . I knew there is no justice to be complicit in the suffering of people of differing faiths and origins, and was convinced that the U.S. government has failed utterly and miserably in preserving the dignity of human life in Iraq, where thousands of people have died.

“Now I’m in Toronto involved in the Franciscan life. Still fighting lots of battles, but they’re more joyful. Feeding the homeless in a soup kitchen, I feel now that I’m taking a greater part in helping humanity.”

—Christian Kjar