Surviving pastoral burnout

It happened again, just a few weeks ago. A pastor friend of mine – we’ll call him Tom – stood before the congregation and announced his resignation.

No scandal, no forced exit, no greener pastures in another city. Tom’s a good leader and a good preacher. He’s well-liked in the congregation, cooperative, and supportive of other pastors and ministries. He loves the Lord, is well-read and easy to talk to.

But Tom’s not just taking a break. He’s leaving ministry because of personal burnout.

Pastors burn out when there’s too much stress for too long, too few rewards, too many unrealistic expectations, too little role definition, too little appreciation, and too much criticism. Tom is exhausted, joyless, and spent. My heart sinks with this news, because I know that both he and the church are burying many unfulfilled dreams for what could have been.

Burnout. The word kindles an image of a fire that’s burned down to embers and ash. Dictionary.com defines burnout as “fatigue, frustration, or apathy resulting from prolonged stress, overwork, or intense activity.” Noted author Archibald Hart coined the phrase “compassion fatigue” (Coping with Depression in the Ministry) because burnout often erases a leader’s ability to care.

Of course pastors aren’t the only ones who burn out. The proprietor of my favourite lunch and coffee shop said to me recently, “I’m burned out.” I’ve heard tradespeople, salespeople, and students say the same thing.

So why focus special attention on pastoral burnout? There are at least three reasons. First, we’re losing pastors and they’re hard to replace. Second, when pastors burn out – especially if they leave a congregation – it affects a wide swath of people. Third, burnout is painful for individual pastors and their family members.

My own experience with burnout occurred around the beginning of my fourth year as a full-time church planting pastor.

Until then, almost everything about my pastoral experience was positive. We were never short of bodies or bucks, and functioned well in rented buildings. We baptized many (100 in five years), and discipled new and established believers through small groups and other ministries. We were blessed with an army of amazing volunteers, both new believers and some who were underachievers in their previous church and needed a place to blossom. It was exciting and rewarding.

And yet, I lost heart. I believed in what we were doing, but found myself yearning for a better way to minister. Many subtle and not-so-subtle reasons for pastoral burnout converged on me like a perfect storm, and I resigned just before our church’s fifth anniversary.

Three surprises

I had three big surprises when I encountered pastoral burnout.

Surprise #1: Burnout happened.

I’ve described the feeling of burnout as something like standing on a dock while my boat drifted away. The boat represented what I was called to do – the areas and people on which I should focus. Yet I felt held to the dock by urgent matters of church management.

As I tried to fill gaps left by our church’s staffing shortage, I moved away from working in my areas of strength into areas for which I was not primarily suited. My joy dissipated as my energy drained.

Still, I can’t blame the ministry, church, or God. Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you . . . my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:29–30). Jesus isn’t asking us to burn out and isn’t glorified when we do. Burnout can be the result of trying to do something other than what Jesus calls us to, or simply trying to do too much.

Some personalities may be more prone to burnout than others, including big-dreaming entrepreneurial styles, or tender-hearted shepherd types. In particular, pastors with people-pleasing tendencies need to work hard to build fences around their core calling and say “No” more often.

Surprise #2: I was deeply affected.

I remember feeling constantly overwhelmed. Small issues became difficult to handle, and big issues impossible.

Melancholy overtook my normally sanguine personality. Making decisions became a problem. Creativity dissipated. I dreaded the phone’s ring and procrastinated doing things I normally enjoyed, such as reading or message preparation. Home life was adversely affected as I became impatient and moody.

Worst of all was the deep sense of failure and futility. In spite of all that had gone well in the church, my leadership confidence was gone. Satan used this opportunity to hurl accusations and words of discouragement, to stir up complaints and personal attacks. This, mixed in with Satan’s lies and temptations, resulted in a dark time.

Surprise #3: The recovery process is long and slow.

Before resigning, I visited a colleague who had resigned from his church after burning out. His symptoms matched mine, but when he told me he had taken eight months off work before resuming ministry I thought he was either crazy or lazy!

“Who needs that much time off?” I mused. Surely a three-month sabbatical would suffice.

Yet, as I write this, I’m counting back the eight months since I resigned, and guess what? I’m just getting ready to return to pastoral ministry. My wife and I continued to serve, mostly in a mission assignment, but we’re just starting to rebuild disconnected friendships, reading ministry books again, and dreaming about our ministry future.

In chapter 10 of his Gospel, Luke records the story of the Good Samaritan, concluding with Jesus’ instruction to “go and do the same.” The whole episode is a terrific motivator to actively serve God by reaching out and caring for others.

But the next paragraph tells the story of Jesus’ visit with two sisters. Martha busied herself serving, while Mary sat still and listened to the Lord. Jesus chastised Martha for being so preoccupied (Luke 10:38–42).

Two stories with different messages. Which is right? “Go and do likewise” or “Stop and listen to Jesus”?

Avoiding or recovering from burnout requires both. There are times to get up and do, and there are times to stop and sit. When ministry leaders only “do” they burn out; when they only “sit” they diminish their influence.

Maintaining a steady flame

Pastors wear many hats for many different people. They’re expected to give a dynamic “performance” that appeals to a diverse group every Sunday. They’re always “on” – at the supermarket, soccer game, parent–teacher interview, or video store. Each venue may lead to an impromptu counselling or pastoral care session. The wellbeing of the church and community is constantly on a pastor’s mind.

Knowing that these demands exist, what can a congregation do to help its pastors maintain a steady flame?

• Offer encouragement and prayer. (I can guarantee that the roles of critic and complainer have already been filled!)
• Write notes of affirmation, offer to babysit the pastor’s kids for a night, or send the family out for a nice dinner. This type of generous support will be a blessing.
• Be an advocate for the pastor during seasons of both strength and weakness. We won’t agree with everything a pastor does, but God will honour us for standing in favour of this person he brought to the church.

Church leadership teams also must take good care of pastors as the first line of support, defence, and encouragement. Pastors should be paid competitively and have the tools needed for the job, such as a current computer, book fund, and hospitality allowance.

It’s important for pastors to have paid sabbaticals, preferably every fourth or fifth year. Like schoolteachers (a comparable profession), pastors need extended breaks.

Finally, for every area of responsibility, pastors must have the accompanying decision-making authorization.

Congregations must ensure their pastors are free to carry out their primary calling. They should ask: what did we call this person to do? Was the calling clear? Have expectations now changed? Do these expectations line up with our church’s vision and purpose?

It’s helpful for pastors to have a team to help with weaker areas. Pastors working outside their areas of gifting wear out quickly. It’s like expecting chipmunks to fly – they can, briefly, but too soon they’ll crash.

If you’re a pastor and feel like you’re burning out, speak up and insist on getting some rest. There are many resources and simple diagnostic inventories available online. Find a good counsellor, focus on your core competencies, and learn to pace yourself for the long haul.

A team effort

God never intended a few ministry leaders to handle all the responsibility of making disciples. Ephesians 4:11–12 reminds us that God gave us pastors and others (apostles, prophets, evangelists, and teachers) as gifts to the church, functioning as coaches to equip God’s people to do God’s work.

Author David Murrow urges congregations to free up pastors to spend time with God. He writes, “Stop thinking of your pastor as the minister. You are the minister; he is your coach. Allow him to delegate responsibility to godly people in your congregation. . . . Encourage him to dream.”

Pastors are a gift to the church, but we’re all called to be ministers. The priesthood of all believers is more than an idea in our confession of faith. It’s a core value of who we are as Christ-followers. We pay certain people to serve as pastors or church staff, but only so they can give their workdays to use their gifts and serve the church. We don’t employ them because they’re more spiritual or gifted, or because we need hired professionals to do the work of ministry for us.

Let’s covenant to work together with Christ as he builds his church. Let’s glorify God by supporting pastors and others who can help us make disciples of all.

Brian Wiebe has given leadership in two Canadian MB church plants since 1999, and loves to help the unchurched discover the wonder and mystery of the local church.