Therapist teaches families to “try differently”

Dorothy Schwab

Twenty-eight years ago, Dorothy Schwab of River East MB Church, Winnipeg, ran a group home for emotionally disturbed children. In retrospect, she sees many of them were alcohol-affected, but at the same time the medical community hadn’t yet identified Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder as a disability.

“No one was there to tell us how to work differently with them,” says Dorothy, an occupational therapist. “Most of these kids are now in the criminal justice system or mental institutions.”

“The story that hit me hard was an Inuit girl we sent back to her community without supports. Two years later she fell off a boat and drowned in a tragic alcohol-related accident,” Dorothy says, adding that suicide and accidental death rates are high among alcohol-affected children.

“I’d like to teach others so we can prevent these sad stories from happening.”

Dorothy works at the Clinic for Alcohol and Drug Exposed Children (CADEC) in Winnipeg, supporting and educating parents and teachers of children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

FASD is an umbrella term for brain damage caused when a mother drinks during pregnancy. A diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) means, in addition to abnormal brain function, the child has all the physical characteristics: small eyes, a thin upper lip, and a smooth philtrum (the area between nose and upper lip). Individuals with partial FAS have the neurological damage and some of the physical signs. Most cases of FASD are Alcohol Related Neuro-developmental Disorder (ARND); the children look normal, but their behaviour is unmanageable.

Dorothy works with many Mennonite adoptive and foster families. “I hear from a lot of parents, ‘My child lies, steals, swears’ – all the things that especially in our good Christian homes are not acceptable,” she says. Some have raised other children using traditional methods such as time outs. “They tell me, ‘These things have worked before, so why is this child’s behaviour not changing?’ ”

Dorothy explains, “FASD kids can’t make that cause and effect connection. If we punish their behaviour they won’t learn from it. They’ll get frustrated.”

She teaches parents, “Don’t try harder. Try differently.”

“We need to reframe their behaviour in light of their brain damage.” Dorothy gives this example. “Our kids don’t intentionally steal. They find things. They don’t have a concept of ownership.” Rather than blaming or punishing, she recommends putting the child’s name on their things and gently reminding them when they “find” things that their name is not on them.

Prenatal alcohol exposure impedes the development of the frontal lobe, responsible for memory, organization, decision making, attentiveness, and common sense. Most children with FASD need lifelong supervision and an educated, understanding community.

“We can’t change the child; we need to change the environment,” Dorothy says. She likens it to building a ramp for someone in a wheelchair.

Ten years ago, Dorothy designed an adapted kindergarten program at David Livingstone School in Winnipeg. They painted the walls a peaceful blue to lower stimulation and created “bunny holes” where children could calm themselves. The curriculum is visual, hands-on, and structured. Today the eight students in that program are still succeeding and the school has added three FASD classrooms.

Many with FASD are gifted in music, art, computers, and working with children and animals, she says, and with the right intervention finish high school and go on to university.

“I look at these individuals as gifts from God sent to us to nurture,” says Dorothy. “As Christians we need to be examples of acceptance and nurturing.”

That applies to the birth mothers as well, she says. Many have suffered abuse and have turned to alcohol to escape. The pain that drives them into addictions needs to be addressed.

Dorothy is passionate about her work, but admits it’s not an easy job. “I get a lot of patience, strength, and understanding from my daily walk with God. I remind myself to see the child that is in so much trouble as a reflection of God’s image.”

The unconditional love of the children is her reward. “They’re friendly, affectionate, likeable kids. They’ve been a real gift in my life.”

Angeline Schellenberg is a Family Life Network staff writer, ChristianWeek correspondent, and member of Crossroads MB Church, Winnipeg.

“Can’t, Not Won’t: a Christian response to FASD” No one needs community more than parents and children coping with FASD. To educate churches on how to respond with compassion and acceptance, MCC created “Can’t, Not Won’t,” a 45-minute video with a six-session study guide. Two affected families share their poignant stories, complemented by the reflections of their pastors, doctors, and therapists. Their message is that alcohol-affected people require the same understanding and supports as those with blindness or Down’s Syndrome. Individuals with FASD need an “external brain” to guide them in making good choices. The video offers practical suggestions for adapting Sunday school for the FASD child and for supporting parents through the grieving process. “Can’t, Not Won’t” is essential for congregations caring for families coping with FASD. Available through MCC offices or online at mcc.org. —AS