Countering lust

Let’s be honest. Our world is full of images and literature designed to attract men. It pretty much screams at us: “it doesn’t hurt to look . . . it won’t harm you . . . everybody’s doing it . . . what’s the big deal?”

But why, until now, has there been so little counterattack against the giant called lust?

“Pure Desire” is a men’s group based on the book of the same name by Ted Roberts. It’s a great book about a jet fighter pilot. It has a lot of depth and appeals to men’s hearts.

Here’s a real man’s man (he would have to be to be a pilot, right?) who grows up appearing to have it all.

Inwardly though, it’s a different story. He’s a mess, addicted to alcohol and pornography, low in self-esteem and suffering from a major father wound. The book describes how Roberts found freedom through Christ.

After hearing about Pure Desire through my good friend Cory, I was hooked. It was evident his life had been radically altered by Ted’s story and God’s power.

We don’t hear painful stories like Ted Roberts’ every day, but they are not uncommon. Many men are suffering on the inside from lack of identity, low self-esteem, inability to give or receive love, fear of leading spiritually, and lack of intimacy with God, spouse or others.

The good news is there’s help available, through books and the media, to guide men to freedom.

The bad news is, when you’re stuck in the middle of all this inner “junk,” the last thing you feel like doing is picking up a book, listening to a program or watching something relevant on TV. You could be surrounded by resources and have no clue they are there.

I know this, because I’ve been there! You don’t feel good about reading Scripture either because the enemy just piles on the guilt and shame.

This is where friendship and men’s groups come in.

As hard as it is, brothers who care for and love one another will break their silence if given permission, will share their wounds, will open their hearts to one another.

This allows the inner walls to come down. Healing begins.

I believe most men desire to go deeper with God but feel so unworthy they don’t even try. So what’s the cure?

Who we are

First, we must break the silence. If we men (and women) of God are to be free, we must stop hiding, denying, conforming. We need to hold onto our Christian brothers and sisters and start being honest with each other. I know this is easier said than done, but the rewards are incredible.

Every time I tried to run and keep a secret, it led to nothing but hurt and pain. Speaking the truth, though tough at the time, led to healing and restoration.

Second, and even more important, we must understand clearly who we are in Christ Jesus. The Bible is full of verses that tell us who we are: forgiven, a new creation, delivered, redeemed, blessed, holy and without blame, victorious, set free, strong, dead to sin, more than a conqueror, accepted, complete, alive, reconciled, qualified, firmly rooted and so much more.

The problem is, we don’t believe it! The church doesn’t speak much about it, we don’t feel this way, so – we think – it can’t be true.

Until we as Christians start raising God’s standard and stop believing we have no other choice, we are destined to lives God never meant us to live. The facts are: God did create us, we did fall, and God did send his Son to die on our behalf so we could reclaim our original inheritance.

It is too good to be true. That’s the nature of our God. It’s incredible.

I challenge men to do as many have already done. Break the silence, seek God with your whole heart, deny the flesh, see what the living God has in store for you.

I ask the church, don’t be silent on this issue. Speak to us plainly. Unite us as men. Build us up. Show us who we are in Jesus. Teach us so we can lead our sons and daughters, prepare them for what lies ahead, and show them they too can lift God’s standard high.

Steve Boulianne attends Northview Community Church, Abbotsford.