Mirror mirror . . .

What message does every teenage girl want to hear on Valentine’s Day? Does she hope to receive a Hallmark card with the words “You’re special” or “I think you’re beautiful” on it?

Many young girls struggle with such low self-esteem, these messages will never be heard or believed. This Valentine’s Day will bring only a torrent of harmful self-talk, tears and depression. These girls look in the mirror and see something horrifying staring back at them.

Popular media enforces its negative message by telling young girls they are worthless unless they wear a particular brand of expensive clothing, maintain a low body weight and find a good-looking boyfriend. The Media Awareness Network reports “the average North American girl will watch 5,000 hours of television, including 80,000 ads, before she starts kindergarten.” These ads are saturated with images of perfect-looking girls and women, widening the gap between what girls see in the mirror and what they see on the television screen. The unrealistic images are simply unattainable for ordinary teens.

Fashion magazines are particularly harmful. Over the past decade, these publications have featured younger and younger models in an attempt to reach a teen audience and secure a portion of their (very desirable) disposable income. The images often border on erotic, adversely affecting teenagers’ views of sexuality and beauty.

Even the once-innocuous realm of teen fiction, commonly known as “chick lit,” now invites girls into a world of sex and questionable morality, further eroding their self-image. For example, The New York Times’ best-selling Gossip Girl series are tell-all books painting “tales of privileged, Prada-clad high schoolers whose lives revolve around sex, drugs and alcohol.”¹

The consequences of a poor self-image are devastating and clear:

• According to its 1998 study Focus on Youth, the Canadian Council on Social Development states that the number of girls who say they “have confidence in themselves” drops from 72% in grade six to a dismal 55% in grade ten.²
• It is estimated that 200,000 to 300,000 Canadian women aged 13 to 40 have anorexia nervosa and twice as many have bulimia.³
• 37% of Canadian females age 11, 42% of Canadian females age 13 and 48% of Canadian females age 15 say they need to lose weight.⁴
• In Canada, suicide is the second highest cause of death for youth aged 10–24.⁵

What can the church do in the face of such an epidemic? Most youth pastors are aware of these destructive trends, and seek to combat media messages with the truth of God’s Word. But hearing these counter-cultural messages at youth group is not enough.

Teenage girls must also receive affirming, loving messages from moms and dads at home. Parents must give themselves permission to discuss self-image, dieting and sex with their children. Mothers must come to terms with their own issues surrounding body image. Fathers and mothers must learn to communicate that, body and soul, their teens are marvellously created, despite acne, flab, strange hair colour or less-than-perfect jeans! This is indeed the most wonderful Valentine’s Day message a girl could receive.

1. Jamie Maxfield, “Novel Ideas: Popular tales of sex, drinking and drugs prove that all teen fiction is not created equal,” Plugged In, October 2005, p. 3.
2. “Media and Girls”.
3. “Statistics on Eating Disorders”.
4. National Eating Disorders Information Centre.
5. “Youth Suicide Report”, Canadian Children’s Rights Council.