I’ll speak out for traditional marriage

There is more than one valid theological position guiding Christian response to Bill C-38.

If you choose to remain silent and have conviction that this is a godly response, that’s what you should do. But before you decide how to respond, please make sure you are well informed. Do you know what’s at stake?

The proposed law for same-sex marriage isn’t just about some homosexual couples getting married. If that’s all it means, Christians and Canadian society won’t be affected much. But gay marriage will change the meaning of marriage and the consequences will have an impact on all of us.

There are two views of marriage in our culture. If Bill C-38 becomes law, one of them will take precedence. It will do unspeakable damage to future generations.

Defining same-sex marriage as equal to heterosexual marriage reduces marriage to nothing more than a love relationship. The adults involved love each other and want a publicly recognized union. What matters in this view of marriage is the love, the intimacy needs, of the two adults. (We are well on our way to understanding marriage this way in Canada already.) When marriage is founded only on mutual love, marriages tend to break up when the love goes.

Much more

The second view of marriage includes a love relationship and much more. In this perspective, marriage transcends the interests of the couple. To love, it adds permanence, and an environment where children are conceived and nurtured in stable, protected homes, where they know and are raised by their biological fathers and mothers. It adds a life-long bond with in-laws and, often, care for aging parents.

When a man and a woman marry, they accept a shared obligation to nurture children born to them. Marriage is by far the most significant place for protecting and promoting the well-being of children. Social science data overwhelmingly shows that children do best when families function this way.

If Bill C-38 passes, our country is separating marriage from parenthood. It is affirming that children don’t need their biological parents, don’t need a mother and a father, and that adult intimacy needs are far more significant than the needs of vulnerable children.

Same-sex marriage will make the public meaning of marriage more flexible. The problem is, when marriage gets more flexible, it loses its durability.

In the 1920s and 1930s, the Soviet Union changed the public meaning of marriage. It eliminated legal distinctions between marriage and cohabitation, brought in no-fault divorce, made abortion readily available and provided universal daycare. The damage was serious. Family life broke down and by the mid-1930s, the Soviet government reversed some of these measures in an effort to bring stability to family life again.

Bad for children

Anything that sets the meaning of marriage adrift and tears up the stable environment children need for healthy development is bad for children. In The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: a 25 Year Landmark Study, Judith Wallerstein and Julia Lewis clearly document this. Increased drug and alcohol use, crippling fears, higher drop-out rates, fewer marriages, more divorces, and more children born out of wedlock are some of the results seen in adults raised without an intact family.

In Child Psychiatric Disorders, Poor School Performance and Social Problems: The Roles of Family Structure and Low-Income, M. Dooley, L. Curtis, E. Lipman, and D. Feeny describe how children of single mothers have a higher incidence of school, social and psychiatric problems. In study after study, the results are the same. When children are raised without a father or without a mother, they suffer.

In her “Intersection” column (MB Herald, Mar. 18), Susan Fish compares her response to the marriage debate to her response when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center. When the two towers fell, she said, she responded by living life peacefully and normally, shielding her young children from the horrors, and leaving vengeance in God’s hands. She took her children to a farm to buy corn on the cob. Facing the possibility of Bill C-38 becoming law in Canada, she says she will not send letters to her member of parliament or attend protests. She will nurture her own marriage, along with treating homosexuals respectfully.

I would ask, “If you knew of the September 11th attacks in advance, would you still have responded by taking your children to buy corn on the cob, ignoring the evil that was about to destroy the lives of many? Would you have remained silent?” There is a difference when we have a chance to speak out in advance against evil and when it is a completed act, leaving us with no choice. Bill C-38 is not yet law in Canada!

Speaking out

My response to Bill C-38 is to speak out in defense of traditional marriage and to treat homosexuals with respect and kindness.

The Christian foundation for supporting traditional marriage must be prayer. We also need to acknowledge that traditional marriages fall short in many ways. Those who lack an intact family need our love and support. We must extend compassion and a warm welcome to those who are alienated from the church for any reason.

God has defined marriage, and overwhelming secular evidence shows that His definition of marriage is the best way to raise children. We have no reason to be timid about God’s message. It stands up powerfully in the face of human scrutiny and study. We should do everything we can to defend traditional marriage and to spread this news.

I urge Christian to write or e-mail their member of parliament and the prime minister. Attend rallies and encourage others to do so. Speak up now. Do everything you can to defend traditional marriage while it is still possible.

Kathryn Wiens is a nurse and member of Summerside Community Church, Edmonton, Alta.