Putting other people first

Known across the U.S. and Canada as Judi the Manners Lady, Judi Vankevich of Langley, B.C. has launched a unique ministry to teach children how God wants us to live. She uses the message of “good manners.”

As president and founder of The Manners Club and Life Skills International, Judi has a vision to provide resources for parents to raise their children to love God and live by the golden rule, with respect, and as good members of the community.

She has captured the hearts of children through an award-winning CD, “It’s Fun to Have Good Manners!” and a high-energy live concert, “Being Cool with the Golden Rule!” that she presents at churches, schools, summers camps and conferences on her cross-country tours.

The three main themes of The Manners Club are living by the golden rule, R-E-S-P-E-C-T and an attitude of gratitude. “My vision is to influence this generation with important principles of self-control and respect for others,” she says, “principles many of us were raised with, but which many of today’s youth are not grasping.”

With old-fashioned virtues like courtesy and respect having fallen on hard times, and with bullying and bad attitudes at an all-time high, parents are seeing the need to get back to basics. Many churches are discovering they can help meet this need of their families. The Manners Club provides the music and materials. (Judi also teaches an interactive workshop for high school youth called “Super Skills for Teens.”)

For example, this past summer Judi’s home church, South Langley MB Church, hosted a Manners Club summer camp as part of their outreach to the community. Through music and games, children learned to obey “right away without delay” and wear their “happy eyes.” They learned “the secret code to the interrupt rule” and “the 5 steps of awesome introduction skills.” They learned table, telephone, church and party manners, and “Lady & Gentleman” courtesies. They memorized Scripture verses with each theme, coloured “bad manners monsters,” built the 3D respect diamond craft, had a candlelight luncheon and – at a final performance for their parents – said the “good manners pledge.”

Another church that recently hosted Judi’s concert was Waterloo (Ont.) MB Church. She also performed at several elementary schools in Waterloo.

The power of music

Years of teaching Sunday school and Bible clubs with Child Evangelism Fellowship showed Judi the power of music for reaching children. She wrote a different song for each principle, not dreaming her CD would win the Canadian Gospel Music Award for best children’s album of the year and best song of the year.

“Almost every song is based on Scripture,” she says, “so churches can have the children memorize the Bible verse, then sing the song.”

Judi grew up on a farm in Brampton, Ont. and became a Christian when she was five years old. Her parents taught her the important of “otherness” and making other people feel special. “That is the foundation of manners,” she says, “putting other people before ourselves – showing them respect. Manners need to be an integral part of who we are. They are foundational for our character. Manners aren’t something we just put on to impress other people, like a hat!”

The good manners pledge is basically the ten commandments, Judi says, and yet, because it is common sense and reinforces social responsibility and personal planning curricula required by many schools, teachers and principals are leading students in saying it.

Judi has been featured on Canada AM, CBC, CTV and Focus on the Family. David Mainse of Crossroads Communication called her the “Emily Post of the 21st century.” She is a graduate of Trinity Western University and Regent University in Virginia. She serves on the national board of House of Hope, which helps troubled teens, as well as the board of Pacific House of Hope. She works with the Hamed Nastoh Anti-Bullying Coalition and speaks out in support of Kids Phone Line, a 24-hour hotline children in trouble can call.

“We as Christians have to be involved in our community in speaking out on serious issues that are facing society, such as bullying, violence and bad attitudes in our children. We know that the answer is changed hearts.”

Judi and her husband Ned, a filmmaker and professor of communications at Trinity Western University, have three children. Her family is her greatest support and inspiration, she says. She is also thankful to the pastoral team of South Langley MB Church and the congregation who support her in prayer as she travels.

“By our words and actions, each of us has the power to bring light and life to people, or to bring darkness and despair,” says Judi. “I pray that through the music and message of The Manners Club, children will learn the skills and be motivated to bring life and kindness to others.” (For more information, visit Judi the Manners Lady or call 1-866-ASK JUDI.)

Vonnie Mostat attends South Langley (B.C.) MB Church.