Hearing and deaf: becoming a family in Kelowna

Five years ago, a young couple began attending Garden Valley Community Church (GVCC) in Kelowna, BC. They were, by all outward appearances, an ordinary enough couple. There was, however, one significant difference between Gene and Shannon Haider and the rest of the GVCC community. They are deaf.

What brought them to a church of “hearing” people? How would they fit into a community that knows no sign language?

Gene and Shannon’s desire was to be integrated into the hearing community. It hasn’t been easy for them to achieve it, but achieve it, they have. Four years ago, they started teaching American Sign Language (ASL) to anyone interested in learning to sign. They held weekly classes at the church, which included children, teens and adults. It was such great fun for everyone that there have been two 10-week sessions every year since then. The classes are casual and enjoyable. The focus is on learning enough so that the hearing and the Deaf can build relationships and share each other’s lives.

In 2002, Geoff Neufeld (our pastor at the time) began discussions with Rudy Unger, pastor at the Deaf Community Christian Church (DCCC) in Burnaby about incorporating the Deaf community into GVCC. Geoff’s friendship with Gene and Shannon as their pastor – doing their pre-marital counselling, conducting their wedding, dedicating their first child – had made him aware of their unique needs as a couple, and also of the larger Deaf community in Kelowna.

“It occurred to me,” he recalls, “that ministering to the Deaf was cross-cultural ministry, a ministry that was desperately needed in our community, and a mission field largely overlooked in the Kelowna area. We had to do what we could to fully integrate these people into the community of Christ followers.”

Pastor Rudy and his wife, Vicki, came to Kelowna one Sunday in the spring of 2002 to interpret the Sunday service. Several families from their church also came up for the weekend. Over lunch that day, some of the elders’ team met with these families to talk about what this venture might look like. A few of the visitors thought they might move to Kelowna to assist with building a “church-within-a-church.” In a large number of the families, the parents are both deaf but the children are hearing. They felt it was important to be part of a hearing church.

Another aspect of this potential ministry was the fact that there are a significant number of Deaf people in the Okanagan area, largely unchurched. This would be an excellent opportunity to share Christ with them.

It was decided to do a six-month trial, with pastor Rudy and Vicki coming once a month to interpret and occasionally preach. On these Sundays a group would come from DCCC as well as families from Salmon Arm, Vernon, Osoyoos, and of course some from the local Deaf community. After the service there was a potluck lunch so people could visit before returning home. There were usually about 12 to 15 Deaf visitors, with their families, on the Sundays that interpretation was available.

Potlucks are a great time to deepen friendships

“When Vicki and I first visited Kelowna two years ago,” says Rudy Unger, “we were both struck by the tremendous spiritual hunger of the Deaf people we met. They had so many questions and nowhere to go for answers. We were thrilled that the leadership at Garden Valley were willing to welcome the Deaf community – a welcome that has spread to the entire congregation. It is exciting to watch how the Lord builds His church in different ways to fit the unique needs of each community!”

The potluck lunch was a big part of these Sundays. There is a very close connection between many of the Deaf in southern B.C. The opportunity to visit was a huge draw. Over lunch they were able to enjoy the fellowship of other Deaf people and any hearing ones brave enough to attend and try to participate. Participating in these occasions required determination on the part of the hearing and much patience on the part of the Deaf.

At the end of the six months, the consensus was that GVCC should move ahead with integrating the Deaf more fully. However, there was a different problem now – GVCC was without a pastor. The elders agreed we should not move forward with the Deaf Ministry until we had found our pastor and knew he was enthusiastic about this new venture.

Vicki and Rudy Unger sign a drama

By June of 2003 we had found two new pastors, a lead minister and a youth/children’s pastor. Both were excited about the opportunity to have a cross-cultural church.

By July, we had three new families in our church. Our new youth/children’s pastor, Trevor Feddersen, and his family arrived, just in time to take on the leadership of Day Camp. The other two families were Deaf couples, one with three children and the other with four. Six of the seven children are hearing. They too very quickly became involved with Day Camp.

As time passed we began to realize that there are significant differences between Deaf and hearing cultures. The most obvious is the language. Other differences include:

• Deaf people speak straight out (blunt) instead of talking around issues as hearing people often do.
• Hearing people generally greet each other with a wave or handshake while Deaf greet each other with a hug.
• Deaf are, for the most part, very community-minded and involved in each other’s lives.

August saw the arrival of our lead pastor Lance Schubert and his family. It was an incredible summer, full of changes and lots of anticipation for the coming months. Many of the hearing began asking when sign language classes would start up again and the Deaf began to meet weekly for Bible study. A group of women, about half of them Deaf and half hearing, began meeting Monday nights for coffee. A Christmas banquet for the Deaf attracted some 50 people, many of them unchurched.

Now it is 2004. We have had approximately eight months together. At times it has not been easy, but we see God at work and believe that He has put this thing together. On a typical Sunday morning there are approximately 150 people at GVCC. Six to 12 of these are Deaf adults. We also have two Deaf children from hearing families who have begun to attend. We now have an interpreter every Sunday. Rudy and Vicki Unger still come once a month and on that Sunday we do a potluck.

We are becoming a family and friendships are growing between the Deaf and the hearing. We look forward to God’s plan for the future of GVCC and the Deaf ministry here.

Brenda Martinson is a member of Garden Valley Community Church, Kelowna, B.C.

My involvement with the Deaf Ministry at Garden Valley Community Church began about two years ago. It has been a very interesting, exciting venture. The Deaf families have, in some ways, unique challenges and a unique culture. In many ways they are just like hearing people, with similar struggles, joys and passions.

As my friend Kirsten says, “Basically we [hearing and Deaf] are the same – we are all God’s children.” The church, she says, just has to “make some adjustments to best meet both cultures’ needs.”

One thing that really hit home with me when I first attended a Deaf potluck was how it felt to be unable to understand what was being said. Oh, I could pick out the odd word, but for the most part, the conversations went right over my head. It is a very isolating experience. Imagine going to Japan and the only word you know is “Konichiwa” (Good day). You smile and nod as the person picking you up at the airport speaks a rapid succession of unintelligible words. That’s how I felt, not sure whether I should nod or shake my head “no” when spoken to, and fearful of offending by using the wrong sign or smiling at an inappropriate time. My guess is that this is how the Deaf feel in many situations we take for granted.

As my Deaf friends have spent time helping me learn and converse more fluently in ASL, I am comfortable knowing they are patient with my many mistakes. They are quick to correct me or sometimes just ignore the error. I especially enjoy our Monday night ladies coffee time. We have a lot of fun talking and sharing our lives with each other.

—Brenda Martinson