Learning to listen, and heed

The toddler I often spend time with decided to show off his strength by lifting his “little boy chair” above his head and waving it around. The chair’s weave pattern gave him the grip he needed. However, it also had the potential to encase his fingers so he couldn’t get them out. I thought it my duty to warn him of this danger. He smiled through my warning and we continued to have a great time playing together.

The next day, when I was to care for him again, he greeted me by pointing to his finger and re-enacting an entire scene of how he had lifted the chair over his head and then crashed down with it, while his fingers stayed stuck in the woven plastic. He then asked me to kiss the “ouch” on his finger. Hmmm . . . he hadn’t seen my warning as useful, and instead learned by experience the danger that lurked in that little blue plastic chair!

This incident got me thinking about my spiritual journey over the past year and brought me to the quick conclusion that I have a lot in common with a 23-month-old boy.

These last 12 months have meant many times of listening to God speak to me by His Holy Spirit (including some lovingly spoken warnings) and giving acknowledgement but then going off and learning by experience instead of heeding His voice.

One example was when I injured my back last January. The pain increased as the weeks sped by. It was so excruciating at times that I was unable to do the simplest of tasks. Instead of caring for my injury, I pressed on. The suffering and pain level grew. My spirit was weary and my body was suffering and God was calling me to rest, but I wanted to forge on, doing all the things I felt called to . . . like preaching in my church, hiring an assistant for my position here at the Canadian Conference, speaking at various meetings, attending conferences, spending one-on-one time with youth pastors, and planning the National Youth Conference.

God’s voice kept calling me, Come and rest, let your body and soul be refreshed and healed by me. I want to do things in your heart that your full life does not allow. I kept going, making my body respond even when the pain was almost more than I could bear.

Finally, while leading a Mennonite Heritage Tour to the Ukraine, my body said “ENOUGH.” I became severely ill with a bacterial infection. (I found out later it was life-threatening.) Nor could I fully recover on my return home. Several visits to the specialist and many tests later, a “healing plan” was mandated for me. It included antibiotics and at least one month of rest.

August came and I rested and rested and rested. I enjoyed the sunshine and the beach. I walked, read, wrote in my journal and listened. Healing of my soul and body began.

Life has again been full since those days, but my body is healed and my soul is being refreshed daily. Thankfully God is a God of patience who waits for us to sit at His feet.

This year has reminded me that my physical and spiritual state are intricately linked. I have renewed a commitment to spending one day a month at St. Benedict’s Priory just north of Winnipeg so that my soul can be refreshed and the voice of God not only heard but adhered to. My hope and prayer for this new year is to be known for “being with the Lord” versus for what I have done for the Lord.

Sherryl Koop is Youth Ministry Director of the Canadian MB Conference and also works as a travel consultant.