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If I could, I would invite my mother out to dinner. She has already been deceased for 45 years. We would choose a lovely, quiet cafe. I think my mother has never eaten in a cafe or restaurant. I wonder if she would consider it a treat? She would likely say that it costs too much. She would likely want to order just a bowl of soup. Well, perhaps a dish of fish or a bun or some toast. But I would suggest that she order something that she hadn’t had in a long time, or perhaps something that she wouldn’t usually make herself. I would tell her not to worry about the price. I would choose breaded veal cutlets, mashed potatoes, lots of gravy and baby carrots. I wonder what she would say to that scrumptious meal!
Then, after a few minutes of small talk, I would tell her why I had taken her out for dinner. I would look right into her kind blue eyes and tell her that in my growing years at home I had tended to not agree with her. It was because my way of looking at things was almost always different from hers, because I felt that she held me back and wanted me to do what my sisters did or had done and to say what they would say. I would most often want to do something else. Then she would scold me, and I would immediately estrange myself from her. I grew up independent of her and had nothing in common with her.
Over the years, God gave me an opportunity to have children myself. What an eye-opener that became. Now I could really understand her. If I could talk to my mother now, I would thank her from the bottom of my heart for loving me. I would thank her for being so patient with me all through those turbulent years. I would confess to her how sorry I am for mistrusting her, and grieving her over and over again. How her heart must have ached due to my wilful ways.
I hope that my mother would share her feelings with me, now that we both have grown much older. What a blessed dinner guest she would be for me!
Helen Friesen lives in Saskatoon, Sask.
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