Fearing Mama, Fearing God

When I was five, Dad left Mom for another woman. His departure forced my happy-to-be-at-home mother to become provider, nurturer, friend and disciplinarian.

In those years, welfare as it is known today did not exist. But Mom made certain my younger sister and I always had food – even if it meant spaghetti with ketchup, or boiled potatoes and butter. And we always had clean clothing – even though we used cardboard to patch the holes on our shoe bottoms and our pants cuffs rose above our ankles. I especially remember how she always snuggled Andrea and me into bed at night – before she left us with a babysitter and hurried off to her second job.

Mom also expressed her love in her discipline. If I broke a rule, I could expect a good spanking, restriction to my room or loss of privileges. Her relentless campaign against my periodic childhood disobedience lasted well into my teen years. Even when I outweighed her by 50 pounds and towered over her head, if Mom said, “Be in the house by 11:00,” I was in by 10:45.

Looking back now, I don’t doubt for a moment that her love, along with her swift and sometimes painful methods of correction, helped shape me into a responsible husband, father and citizen. Kindness, respect for authority and a healthy fear of her discipline turned our home into a haven from the heartbreaks and disappointments around us.

Perhaps most important, because of her discipline, I am better able to understand why the Parent of parents uses a measure of fear in the nurture of His children. It helps us obey. Without a healthy fear of God, we risk inventing in our minds an impotent and over-indulgent Santa Claus in Heaven, instead of the Biblical image of a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29).

“God has come to test you,” Moses said to the people at the foot of Mt. Sinai, “so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning” (Exodus 20:20). King Solomon wrote: “Through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil” (Proverbs 16:6). The New Testament writers also repeatedly urged their readers to fear God (see Acts 2:43, 19:17; 2 Corinthians 7:1; Ephesians 5:21).

Mom’s legacy of having raised two honest, trustworthy children would be different had it not been for her love and our fear of her discipline. In a similar way, although knowledge of God’s love is very important to me, I also need the assurance that if I do wrong, I risk being pulled over His knee (Hebrews 12:5–7).

I need boundaries set by a parent and set by God. Who doesn’t? To have it any other way only invites disaster in our lives, our homes, our world.

Rich Maffeo is a freelance writer from San Diego, Calif.