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Open, honest look at raising boys

Elfrieda Nikkel

Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men James Dobson. Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House Publishers, 2001. 257 pp. $22.99.

Bringing up Boys by Dr. James Dobson, founder and president of Focus on the Family, is an excellent resource for parents, teachers, youth workers and counsellors. The author’s popularity makes an objective review somewhat of a challenge.

Dobson draws from his experiences as a parent, psychiatrist, teacher and his governmental activities related to the family. He is not afraid to be open and honest in dealing with the issues that are a danger to growing boys.

In a world that often views the differences between the sexes as merely learned, Dobson firmly believes that the unique character qualities of boys are different from that of girls. These differences are part of God’s divine plan to equip boys for their adult role of protector and provider in the family. He also stresses the importance of meeting the emotional needs of boys, and points out how neglect in this area may result in the wounding of a boy’s spirit, which he feels is the cause of increased violence in our schools.

His use of statistics and research gives credibility to the issues he addresses. He sees the weakening of the family and the absence of caring fathers as primary reasons for boys having difficulties in our society. He argues that the sexual revolution and radical feminism have contributed to the masculine confusion of today. Furthermore, the postmodern mindset has put boys into a very vulnerable position with its strong focus on self-gratification and radical individualism.

Not all boys fit into the mould described by Dobson. It would have been helpful to give more attention to boys who are more reserved and introverted. Dobson also could have given more attention to the contributions that the church and Christian organizations make in helping families raise their children. It is true that the radical feminist movement has impacted the role of men in the home and society. However, there needs to be a more balanced perception on the issue.

Although Dobson does not spare any words in describing society’s dangers, he encourages mothers and fathers to understand their sons, make time for them, strengthen the home base and, most of all, lead them into a personal relationship with the Lord.

This book is definitely worth reading.

Elfrieda Nikkel is a mother of four grown sons, a teacher, and currently works as a clinical counsellor in Abbotsford, B.C.

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Last modified November 21, 2002.

© 2002 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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