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Abbotsford, B.C.
Web site offers help in responding to abuse


A mother discovers that her husband has been molesting their daughter. A husband is becoming increasingly violent towards his wife, and she discovers that he has been viewing pornography. A pastor must deal with a man in his congregation who has been abusing a boy, also in the congregation.

These are actual situations experienced by people in the church. One resource to help prevent and stop this abuse is a Web site, created by the Committee for Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse of Mennonite Central Committee B.C.

Just days after the site was launched, a woman responded, “We Christians need to have a godly place to go to when there is evidence of sexual abuse in our homes. Thank you for being one!” The woman shared her experience of abuse and her frustration when she reached out to her pastor and found little help.

“I had nowhere to turn when he [her husband] finally confessed to me what he had been doing,” she wrote. “Had I had someone who knew what steps I needed to take, how to not buy into the perpetrator’s manipulative lies and games, I know that it would not have been so difficult and confusing for me.”

Elsie Wiebe, who coordinates MCC B.C.’s Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse program, says, “Just because we don’t hear many stories, doesn’t mean there are no stories of abuse and violence around us. Abuse is often kept secret since it is shrouded in shame or fears of being misunderstood or fear for harsher abuse if the secret gets out.”

Eleanore Epp-Stobbe, who works with Voices for Non-Violence in Winnipeg, agrees. “Issues of domestic violence and sexual abuse are happening in our churches, schools and homes,” she says. “What we often don’t realize are the long-term effects on whole congregations.” As a church, she says, we are called to a holistic justice ministry in which we respond to victims, perpetrators and to those who are silent.

Both Wiebe and Epp-Stobbe say that the most effective thing that Christians can do for one another is listen. It is a challenge to listen without judgement in sensitive situations, to find and offer support, to invite accountability and to look for assistance when we can’t deal with these issues alone.

But the news is not all negative. Church leaders are attending workshops and are seeking ways to use the information they find.

“Congregations should take initiative to build relationships with the service providers and professionals in their communities who are already working on these issues,” Wiebe says. “Invite them to come and do a presentation on how we might be helpful to people who are experiencing violence or abuse.” MCC staff are also available for presentations.

“After one of our committee members did a workshop for a group of women in a Mennonite Brethren congregation in the Fraser Valley, one of the women in that church found resources and support to help her mother find safety from abuse in her senior years. The women’s group decided to get acquainted with a transition house in their neighbourhood, and after building a relationship, the church had a bake sale fundraiser to support the good work they were doing in the community.”

Epp-Stobbe says that if churches are proactive in educating leaders, setting policies for the church and discussing these issues, this will communicate that the church is a safe place to share concerns about abuse.

 – Angelika Dawson, MCC B.C.

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Last modified July 19, 2002.

© 2002 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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