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WHAT WE BELIEVE
We are all family

Reuben Pauls

Several years ago, my wife Martha and I travelled to Los Angeles on vacation. As we registered at our hotel, the desk clerk commented on our address. “Canada? Where in Canada?” He asked.

“Western,” we responded. “Oh,” he replied, “we enjoyed the east, but didn’t like the west at all.”

Somewhat surprised, I asked, “How far west did you go?”

“Toronto,” came his reply.

My wife and I looked at each other with suppressed grins, and let him live with his conclusion. It had been reached without adequate information.

In our Confession, when we move on to discuss something as personal as marriage and singleness, we do so with certain risks. Can inadequate information lead us to place significance in wrong areas?

At this point, it may be helpful to recall the process by which each Article of the Confession was constructed. A rough draft of the categories was circulated to churches and to General MB Conference convention delegates prior to a rough draft being tabled as a working document. Submissions from churches and individuals were solicited, and a second draft was offered. This was again submitted to church leadership teams for review and feedback. Finally, a group of more than 100 church people, men and women, married people and singles, laypersons, educators, pastors, farmers and business people, met to attempt to come to consensus on the 18 Articles. Debate at each table was vigorous, but always, by the end of submissions, general agreement was present. In many ways, we saw the Holy Spirit bring unity and understanding as decisions were reached on the final draft. At the 1999 General MB Conference convention in Wichita, Kansas, the draft was overwhelmingly endorsed as our Mennonite Brethren Confession of Faith.

Given the divergent opinions on issues such as marriage and singleness, this process needs to be understood. The three categories in this article were intended to encourage those among us who are single, spell out the covenant nature of marriage, and affirm the place of family in a world where we see human brokenness having its most drastic effects on families. This Article elevates the fabric of family by recognizing both marriage and singleness as valid expressions of personhood.

For years, my wife and I focused our attention on young adults. Our home was open on Tuesday and Friday evenings to a large young adult ministry (consisting initially only of singles) in Winnipeg. The group was called a singles group by those who came. Over the course of three years, several in the group married, but they kept coming because they realized they were still welcome regardless of the name of the group. Why did they come? Because they felt love, acceptance and significance. They experienced family, when many did not have their personal families nearby.

Today, our ministry as a senior pastor couple and our age (we now have grandchildren) have placed us in a situation where we lead home Bible studies that are not limited to single or married people. On a given night, we will have between 12 and 20 people present. Included are couples (some married a second or third time) and singles (some never married and some single as a result of a broken relationship). All are part of God’s family. Why do they come? Because they experience love, acceptance and significance. They experience family, when many do not have their personal families nearby.

When we discuss singleness, marriage and family, we do so realizing that all humans need significance in relationship. There are some for whom this comes within their own families. For others, a marriage becomes the primary source for nurture. For all of us, a close friend who shares values and interests similar to ours is invaluable. While personal expectations in relationships vary, the need to love and to be loved exists for all. In the church, which we often call “the family of God” (despite the fact that on some occasions we, like the hotel clerk, make false conclusions based on inadequate information), all are welcome as significant contributors to the family. It’s challenging, but definitely worth it.

Reuben Pauls is pastor of River of Life Church in Sorrento, B.C. and former executive minister for the Canadian MB Conference.

CONFESSION OF FAITH OF THE UNITED STATES AND CANADIAN CONFERENCES OF MENNONITE BRETHREN CHURCHES Article 11

Marriage, Singleness and Family We believe that marriage and the family are instituted by God. The church blesses both marriage and singleness and encourages families to grow in love. Marriage Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to unite a man and a woman for life. At creation God designed marriage for companionship, sexual union and the birth and nurture of children. Sexual intimacy rightfully takes place only within marriage. Marriage is to be characterized by mutual love, faithfulness and submission. A believer should not marry an unbeliever. The community of faith blesses and nurtures marriage relationships, and makes every effort to bring reconciliation to troubled marriages. Human sinfulness, however, may sometimes lead to divorce, a violation of God’s intention for marriage. With truth and compassion the family of God offers hope and healing while continually upholding the biblical ideal of marital faithfulness. Singleness Singleness is honored equally with marriage, sometimes even preferred. The church is to bless, respect and fully include those who are single. Those who remain single may find unique opportunities to advance the kingdom of God. God calls all people, single and married, to live sexually pure lives. Family God intends family relationships at all stages of life to be characterized by love. Children are a gift from God. Godly parents instruct and nurture their children in the faith. Parents are to discipline their children wisely and lovingly, not provoking them to anger. Children are to honor and obey their parents. Genesis 1:26-31; Genesis 2:18-24; Genesis 5:1-2; Genesis 12:1-3; Exodus 22:16-17; Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Deuteronomy 6:4; Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Psalm 127:3-5; Proverbs 31; Matthew 5:32; Matthew 10:34-39; Matthew 19:3-12; Matthew 22:23-33; Mark 3:31-35; Mark 7:9-13; Mark 10:6-11; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:2-3; Romans 14:12; I Corinthians 7:8-40; II Corinthians 6:14-15; Ephesians 5:21-33; Ephesians 6:1-4; I Timothy 3:1-13; I Timothy 5:3-16; Hebrews 13:4; I Peter 3:1-7. View complete Confession of Faith

 
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Last modified April 17, 2002.

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