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Aging gracefully

Terri Todd

Forty-one is not a milestone. While 40 was filled with celebration and life-changing commitments, 41 is just . . . older. That’s okay. Every birthday can’t be a big deal, and this was my year to reflect on the woman I want to be when I’m 51 . . . 61 . . . 71 . . . and so on. It prompted me to do a couple of things.

First of all, in the event that my allotment of time on this earth does not match the average, I sat down and wrote what I call “an open letter to my survivors”. A couple of friends know of its existence so that, in the event of my departure, it can be read aloud at my funeral. I reasoned that if one is ever going to have a captive audience, it would be at one’s funeral. The letter says, as briefly as I could, what I would like to say on such an occasion to my spouse, my children, my sisters and brothers in Christ, and my friends who don’t know Him yet. It was a wonderful exercise, and I highly recommend it. After all, if those are the things that will be important then, then those are the things which should be important now. It gave me a new perspective from which to address my relationships.

The second part of my reflection was to look around at the older women I know. Which ones do I want to be like at age 70? The tanned retiree enjoying endless rounds of golf and lunches out with friends? That hardly seems like a worthwhile objective. What about in my 80s? Do I want to be the whining, guilt-inducing grandmother who cries incessantly about how her children have abandoned her? Of course not! Nobody wants that or ever did want that – including the women who have indeed become that! How does it happen? Is it possible to ensure that it doesn’t happen to me? I don’t know.

All I know is this. I want to live my entire life in the service of my Creator. I want to honour His name and bring glory to Him in whatever way I can. If I gain any wisdom with the passing of years, I want to be able to pass it along graciously and lovingly. I think it’s reasonable that my ministry will not look the same when I am very old as it does today. I can’t see myself acting in a lot of dramas when I’m 83. (My sister told me I should write a bunch of plays now that require old ladies, so that I’ll have parts when I get there. I remarked that I had better memorize my lines now, too!) My aging fingers may no longer be able to work a keyboard, my brain unable to string words together coherently. What then?

Whatever God has for me, it will not be a demotion. Should He assign me bathrooms to clean, babies to rock or simply prayers to pray as I lie motionless and dependent . . . that work will be every bit as important as the work I do now. I once had a home economics teacher tell me, “If you want to be a sweet little old lady some day, you have to be a sweet young lady now.” The older I get, the more I see the truth in that statement – and the more I fear that I’m lagging years behind. Lord, make me sweet in spirit and strong in character, that I may please You until the end. May the last breath I take be filled with Your praises.

“Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” (Job 12:12)

Terrie Todd is a writer from Portage la Prairie, Man.

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Last modified January 9, 2002.

© 2002 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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