|  | |
 |
Letters to the editor
Mennonite Brethren Herald welcomes your letters on issues relevant to the Mennonite Brethren Church, especially in response to material published in the Herald. Please keep your letters courteous, brief and about one subject only. We will edit letters for length and clarity. We will not publish letters sent anonymously, although we may withhold names from publication at the request of the letter writer and at our discretion. Publication is also subject to space limitations. Because the Letters column is a free forum for discussion, it should be understood that letters represent the position of the letter writer, not necessarily the position of the Herald or the Mennonite Brethren Church. Send letters to:
Letters, MB Herald
3-169 Riverton Ave.
Winnipeg, Man. R2L 2E5
|
or by e-mail to mbherald@mbconf.ca. (Please ensure that your postal address is included in your e-mail correspondence.) |
Helpful but one-sided
The July 13 issue was very interesting, helpful and honest. I especially appreciated Marina Froese’s article. Yet, as a single person, I was dismayed that there were no articles by single people. These articles don’t tell singles how to celebrate; they tell couples how to treat us. Am I the only single person reading the Herald?
Too often singleness is seen as a curse, and being single is not celebrated. Single people are unintentionally made to feel guilty or uncomfortable about their unmarried status. Comments like “When is it your turn?” imply that unless one is married, one is unfulfilled. Being single provides me with many opportunities that I would never have had if I were married. I am very thankful for people in my life and especially in my church who affirm and encourage me as I do my best to be obedient to the Lord, whether I remain single or get married. I will continue to use 1 Corinthians 7:34b for my direction. “An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”
Charlotte Heinrichs,
Niverville, Man.
Too stereotypical
I noticed a new degree of marginalizing singles in the Herald recently, although it may not have been intentional. In the issue on marriage (June 22), married people wrote on what it meant to be married. In the issue on singleness (July 13), married people wrote on what it was like to have single people around them, on lessons they learned from single people, etc. Single people were given no voice to speak on what it means to be single.
A (well meaning) married person suggested giving singles a shower similar to a wedding shower. Most 18-year-old people leaving for college or moving out on their own do not see themselves as being single in the way that those who are eligible to attend singles programs/showers are single. By the time they do, they’ve already acquired most of the items to be had at a shower. In the late teens/early 20s, most still believe that the “love of my life” is just around the corner. It’s not until you’ve been single for a number of years that you wake up one day and realize that you are a single adult and that you love your single life. After age 23–25, it’s important to realize that singleness is not going away anytime soon, so if you’re going to enjoy life, you have to stop waiting and looking, and start living a God-honouring single life. It requires a huge shift in world view. Only a single person would know that struggle and the role God plays in it.
If you’re going to run an issue on singles (or any group), why not talk to the source? I know many wonderful people of God that are single – either never married, or divorced – who have stories to tell, giving glory to God for filling a myriad of needs and roles in their lives. They know what the struggles are and can speak of them (and of church singles programs) with the same personal intensity as married people can talk of married life.
As a single adult, I did not find any comfort or wisdom in the issue on singleness; it presented clichés and stereotypes. It did not represent accurately the life of a single adult. I was more deeply touched by the Herald issues on child-rearing, Father’s Day, etc. than the one on singleness, even though I have no children and am not a father. This should not be!
I wonder what an issue on marriage written by single, never-married adults would be like. Our perceptions of, and experiences with, marriage would seem trite and immature to those who actually live the married life everyday. Married people’s perceptions of singleness are equally inaccurate. I realize that most of the Herald’s readership is married and therefore can relate better with other married people’s views and experiences, even of singleness, but if you’re trying to find singles a place at the discussion table, please open your minds. Married people might actually learn a thing or two. Please consider publishing another issue on singleness, with at least half the articles written by people who have lived it beyond age 23.
Sarah Reimer,
Winnipeg, Man.
Disappointing
I am sorely disappointed by the July 13 issue. It is entitled “Celebrating singleness”, and yet not even one article is written by a single person. Surely you could have included some thoughts by individuals who are celebrating their own singleness, not only that of someone else. I challenge you to address this topic again.
Kathryn Koslowsky,
Vancouver, B.C.
Hearing from the elephant
Why address the subject of singleness without a single writing about it? None of your articles were from a single’s perspective. I am sure those who did write were single at some time in their lives, and their “married” insights are excellent. Nevertheless, the trend in the church to ignore singles – which Mr. Brandt points out – is continued in these pages.
No doubt some singles – such as myself – should have written in with our suggestions. However, it would have been nice if the editorial staff had solicited those singles they know, or found an article by a single in the archives somewhere. Surely there are singles who have a voice about their state of existence?
I appreciate the diversity of kinds of “singleness” expressed in the articles. I am within perhaps the fastest growing group – those in their late 20s and early 30s (and higher) who are “still not married”. In a way, our group can be “born into” more than once – those who still haven’t married, and those single for a second (or third) time. The reason I point this out is that there is no article about this phenomenon – this burgeoning age group. Why is it occurring? Is this a movement of the Spirit that endows a disproportionate number of people with the gift of celibacy? Or is this an epidemic of social dysfunction?
I appreciate each of the articles, especially Gilbert Brandt’s efforts to spark reform, and Marina Froese’s excellent exhortation that the categories “married or single” could have been included in Galatians 3:28. However, I am disappointed with the lack of direct investigation into what seems to me to be the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. Is anyone ready to listen to the elephant?
P.S. On an ironic note: I am a researcher for Focus on the Family Canada.
Michael H. Martens,
Abbotsford, B.C.
Backlash inevitable
The July 13 editorial is good and very important. Mennonites have had such a strong and deeply implanted history of being congregationally involved in the decision making process. If you take that away, there is bound to be a backlash of some sort. Distrust of leadership, apathy, masked anger, itchy feet to leave the church, and withdrawal of financial support are all serious reactions that may exist among congregational members. I think it is wise for church leadership to read the editorial and give some thought to this as it applies in their congregational and conference settings.
Mark Dobell,
St. Catharines, Ont.
Last modified September 17, 2001.
© 2001 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
Masthead and usage information.
|
