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Wrong program, right message

Selma Hooge

How could I get both the week and the place mixed up? Instead of being at an event to hear a well-known visiting woman speaker, I found myself listening to women from our own church (Killarney Park MB Church in Vancouver at that time) plus one visitor. These were all women who had been asked to share about their trials and joys as “singles”. I had had no intention of being there, but I stayed.

One cousin my age had remained single. We had been close friends, but after I married and had children, we seemed to have little in common. She had a career and travelled; I stayed home and did dishes. Most of the time, I didn’t know whether to envy her or pity her. She seemed lonely.

That evening, as the four women spoke, I realized that I needed to hear what they had to say. That was many years ago, so I can’t recall everything the ladies said, but a few thoughts remain to this day. There was a widow who had been left alone with seven children a year earlier. She spoke about her dependence on God to be a “father” and provider for her children. A divorcee said how much she appreciated being included in other families’ activities. A lady who had been single for a long time but was engaged then, mentioned something about a marriage contract.

Then came an older lady who had never been married. She was even more frank than the other ladies had been. Among other things, she said, “I hate it when women say, ‘Come over. My husband is out of town.’” She might as well have pointed her finger at me and said, “Shame on you” because that’s exactly how I had once invited my cousin. Until then, I hadn’t realized what an insult such an invitation might be. I didn’t do it again.

That night I felt God must have played a little trick with my memory to make me come to an event which I had no intention of attending. He knew I needed to hear a specific message, and I was glad of it.

I caught the well-known visiting speaker a week later at another church, but I can’t remember her name or a word she said.

Selma Hooge is a member of Central Heights MB Church in Abbotsford, B.C.

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Last modified July 10, 2001.

© 2001 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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