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Growing family

Diane Dehaan

We were already a growing family in 1979 (our two adopted children were aged seven and one-and-a-half) when my husband Anno and I applied to be foster parents.

In 1980, our first foster child was placed with us, already a teen and at a stage we had not yet mastered (if it is ever possible to master the teen years!). We had hoped for a playmate for our other children. Thus, through struggles and delights, we began our journey into the years ahead, not knowing then how many years and how many faces would come and go.

Today we have a multicultural family of six adopted children. Our oldest, 10 days old when he came home, is now 28 and successfully independent. Our next, five weeks old when she came, is now 22 and a striking model mother with a daughter of her own. Both were Canadian adoptions.

The deHaan family: (back, l-r) Shana, 22, Kameron Kam-Sin, 15; (front) Kaden, 6, Anno, granddaughter Tiara, 3, Diane, Joshua, 11, and Kaylee, 11.

We have four internationally adopted children. Our 15-year-old son was three when we went to Hong Kong to add him to our family. We had learned some Cantonese to help him with the adjustments, and shopping was a delight; we turned heads as we bid down the prices of clothing using our newly learned language skills.

Not long after, we opened our hearts towards Haiti. This time, I made the journey alone, as Anno had to work and care for the rest of the family. Being in Haiti and trying to get back to Canada with a boy and a girl, then aged two, taught me another kind of compassion, beyond what you read about. Among the poverty, the sick and the dying, I realized it was the blessing of God that helped me during my stay and enabled our release from the war situation that Haiti was then in.

Our youngest son, now six, was placed into our care at age three. He is also of Haitian background but came to us through a previous adoption breakdown. This was a direct placement adoption and remains very open, so we have added an extended family to our family.

We have also had in our care about 65 foster children through the past 22 years. Of those, we still have four that have been with us from two to nine years. They have all become a part of our family. We continue to stay in touch with many who have left our care, including our first teen, to whom we are still Mom and Dad.

Some children have returned to their birth families, some have become independent and moved out on their own, and we have had the privilege of helping others move on to new families through adoption.

We have worked with many children with special needs, including fetal alcohol syndrome, neo-natal abstinence syndrome, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, Tourette’s syndrome, autism and mental disabilities; unattached children, failure-to-thrive babies; and drug-addicted teens. We have given care and love and taught better ways for these children and sometimes their families to live.

Our children have had to learn to make adjustments, to share, to open their minds and hearts – not by stepping back while others go ahead, but by walking together as a family. Our children have learned compassion, empathy and the love of giving to others. In return, we have had the blessing of learning ourselves. The memories, challenges, struggles, joys and tears have shown us better ways to live.

Today there are many children still in need of a family they can call their own. In British Columbia alone, there are over 600 children aged 0-12 in the permanent care of the Ministry for Children and Families. Some of these children are part of a sibling group, many have experienced abuse or neglect, and some are developmentally delayed or have a medical problem. All are in need of “forever families”.

Diane deHaan is a member of Broadway MB Church in Chilliwack, B.C.

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Last modified June 5, 2001.

© 2001 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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