Previous | Next 

Dear God,

Brad Huebert

Your Bible is a frustrating book. It gives me a lot of “whats”, but not many “hows”. You tell me to “pray without ceasing”, “love my neighbour” and love You, but You don’t tell me exactly how. I’ve looked for more specific instructions, and found some, but for the most part applying Your Word is a big mystery. I guess if everything was spelled out as clearly as I want it to be, I could live my life without a relationship with You. I could just do all the right things, in the right way, in the right amounts, like following a recipe. But Your Bible isn’t a cosmic cookbook. It’s designed to invite me through itself into a dialogue of obedience with You, a life of faith.

But I still want things spelled out, especially in the area of sharing that faith. I am an “I think, therefore I am” believer who tends to assume that the only thing standing between me and becoming an effective witness is more information. So I devour a constant stream of Christian books, tapes and seminars looking for the “key” that will unlock Your power to me. Sometimes I catch myself believing that reading about effectiveness will make me effective.

But You routinely shatter that myth. You remind me that the most dynamic believers on this planet are not the ones with the most information about You. They are the ones who walk in childlike obedience with You, trusting You to help them do what You ask them to do. The key to effective anything, it seems, is taking Your Son’s outstretched hand and crossing my personal fear barrier with His help, daring to believe that He will work if I will obey.

This isn’t earth-shattering news. I know the answer. I just don’t like it. I don’t want to admit that my primary hang-up is fear, and I certainly don’t want to confess that the remedy is plain old repentance and obedience. The reason I’m not out there sharing my faith like I know I should is that I’m chicken. I dare say that if I spent as much time on my face before You as I do reading about people who have spent time on their faces before You, I would be overcoming that fear and making a real dent in this world. But I’m scared to put my life on the line like that. So I study, seek and seminar my way through life, trying to find a way around my cowardice. I want someone to make witnessing easier for me. I want it to be comfortable. I want some “handle” that will guarantee success without costing me too much – none of this “diving right in” stuff.

You tell me that I am indwelt by the Spirit of Christ, and that ought to be more than enough for me. It doesn’t give me much room for excuses. I guess there’s no way around the obedience thing. Don’t get me wrong. I do want to be faithful, Father. I want Your “well done.” May Your love melt my fear.

Brad

Brad Huebert is an associate pastor at Winkler (Man.) MB Church.

Previous | Next 

Last modified May 23, 2001.

© 2001 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
Masthead and usage information.